Soaking in the Lasts: Life with My Last Baby

There’s something different about your last baby.

It’s not just the fact that you’re more experienced or that you’ve finally figured out how to swaddle like a pro. It’s deeper than that, an awareness that whispers to you in the quiet moments “This won’t last forever.”

With my last beautiful baby girl, I find myself holding on a little longer. Rocking her a few extra minutes even after her eyes have closed. Letting naptime cuddles stretch out. I know now that these are the moments I’ll miss.

With my older kids, I was always looking ahead: to sleeping through the night, to solid food, to the next milestone. But with this baby, my last, I’m constantly looking around. Soaking it all in. The way she wraps her fingers around mine. The little coos and giggles. The way she stares at me like I’m her everything. The weight of her body as she melts into me during a nap. I know how fast it all goes and how one day you wake up and they’re no longer babies but big kids with strong opinions and wild imaginations.

This time, I don’t rush the hard moments. Even the midnight feedings feel softer, like a sacred hush between just the two of us. I see the beauty in the chaos like the diaper blowouts, the paci hunts, the sleepy eyed mornings. I know I’ll miss all of it. Yes, even the mess.

There’s a tenderness that comes with knowing this is the last time I’ll do this. The last newborn stretch. The last first steps. The last time I’ll carry a diaper bag, rock a baby to sleep, or kiss tiny toes. It’s bittersweet, but mostly sweet.

So I’m soaking it in. Every last second!

Time doesn’t ask if you’re ready to move on. It just moves. And one day, this baby will grow up too but I’ll carry these moments in my heart forever.

Baby Girl snuggles 🩷